Many will know that it's become tradtion

To write a fairytale about this mission

Where an old allotment keeper's plot is cleared

Of treasures collected over a hundred years.

But Legendary Leanne gets easily bored

Of doing the same things for the same applause,

So she thought that this might be a good time

To weave a tale, inspired by Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes.

--

In previous weeks the GG Yorkies had been

To give an allotment in Holgate a big spring clean,

They'd chopped back brambles and dug out roots,

Then emptied the shed of all its loot.

They carried old tools, treasures and knick knacks

And piled them up at the end of the track.

Then, they burned all the wood they found

In a blazing fire that lit up (a bit too much) ground.

--

Now, those in the know can tell you straight

That the heart of a goodgymer isn't really that great -

You see, the thing that they crave isn't growth and construction,

What they really want is chaos and destruction.

This is why a task to demolish a shed

Got eight red clad knights out of their beds.

I know this is true because you could easily spy

A dangerous destructive glint in their eyes.

--

They started by talking about health and safety

(Which is something you always have to do lately).

Some sensible knights topped their armour with masks

Because it was sure to be a dusty task.

They ventured inside to tear out cupboards and shelves

And remove some glass, to protect themselves

From the carnage that was soon to be created

When the shed was recklessly decimated.

--

James and Ben tore off the door

Becca and Jane rolled up carpet from the floor

Vicky separated the metal, plastic and wood,

Jen carried them away from where the shed stood

Then James stepped in a pane of glass,

So Ellie swooped in to save his ass,

And in a calm and efficient manner

She broke all the windows with a sledge hammer.

Some joined in to pick up the shards

While others were still working hard

to bring that shed down to the ground

(and rehome all the spiders we found).

Helen emptied a butt of water -

Leanne wasn't impressed when the splashes caught her!

But at least it gave them a bit more room

To spread out the wreckage when the shed met its doom.

--

Soon only half of the shed remained,

It's solid foundations now barely sustained,

It was time to use some real brute force

To bring it crashing down - of course!

Ben stepped up and grabbed the hammer

In a confident, enthusiastic manner

It made the onlooking goodgymers drool

to see Ben wield such a manly tool

He took his aim and swung it back

He made contact with a mighty crack

At first it didn't make much of a difference

But each blow added more significance

Until the shed roof dramatically tumbled

And the rotten wood below finally crumbled.

--

When the hour was up, I must confess,

There was still an awful lot of mess,

So everyone, without grumbling

(even though their tummies were rumbling)

Stuck around to create some kind of order

Within that large allotment border.

We left a lot of wood behind

So check the GG website, and soon you'll find

Another task listed for next week

to tidy up (so to speak -

There will in fact be a blazing fire

For everybody to admire.)

And so with that, we can put to bed

The tale of the magical allotment shed.

A Firey Tale of Olde Yorke - Chapter 2

On the last Saturday of the month of January, eight red-coated knights of the Order of Goodgym York descended on an old allotment patch to continue the good work of their predecessors. They had previously cut back a hundred years of brambles, revealed a creepy old shed, and burned piles of old wood in Chapter 1: A Firey Tale of Olde Yorke

On arrival, the council of allotment Wizards decreed:

“Leave only the timber… and let fire feast upon it later.”

And with that, they quickly embarked upon their task to sort the wood from the not‑wood and the burnable from the bewildering.

The scarlet heroes descended upon the patch and delved deeper into the far corners of the magical plot than any Yorkie had ever been. Each piece was lifted, shifted, dragged, or coaxed from the land with heroic effort — for no monster is more stubborn than abandoned gardening equipment.

Amongst the wood, which they sorted and stacked, they bravely uncovered a host of treasure to be banished from the allotment kingdom. Heavy items were hauled. Awkward items were wrestled. Confusing items were stared at for several long seconds while Egg the Enthusiastic took photos for posterity.

Their bounty included:

• Heavy metal rods (or perhaps a stash of giant's javelins) likely to have been forged in the underworld itself, and definitely weighing as much as a small dragon
• Broken windows (none showing a better view)
• A magic mirror (though nobody remembered to ask who was the fairest of them all)
• Hosepipes and fencing tangled like gossiping snakes
• A decorative shower screen, fully in tact as though placed there by goblins seeking cleanliness
• An ornate copper kettle, tarnished with years of grime.

An onlooker may have wondered why none of the red knights sought to polish the kettle until it gleamed, in the hope of revealing a genie from within to grant three wishes. Those who were wise to the January Quest of the order of Red Knights might assume it's because they had already smashed their January goals of achieving 600 good deeds and 10,500m of running walking and cycling, and so wanted for nothing more.

Each treasure was hauled away with great effort and mild confusion. Lady Ellie coveted an ancient sieve meant for fairy dust (or soil), and peasant's throne. She was granted permission to take them both home to give them new life.

Within an hour, a mighty stash of treasure was piled high at Allotment HQ, ready for it's ultimate banishment. The heroes wiped sweat from brows, mud from trainers, and made plans for lunch as they concluded their quest.

And so ends this chapter of the fairytale of Olde York— a tale of teamwork, treasure, and truly inexplicable finds.

Why not join us for the next instalment of this epic saga at Monday's group run, when once again our fearless band returns with reinforcements to the realm of determined brambles, forgotten junk, and community spirit.

The problem with the January challenge is that we do so many good deeds that our taskowners run out of things for us to do, as was the case late last night with the council's eco team and the scheduled task at Clarence Gardens. We'd already done all the work earlier in the month. Fortunately, with a flurry of WhatsApp messages and our wonderful run leader Laura we were able to come up with a couple of tasks to fill the void and keep everyone just about busy enough.

Tonight we gave a big GG Yorkie welcome (and one dissenting boo) to Jenni who was joining is from GoodGym Reading. Great to have you here, despite Pete's rivalry! We also welcomed back Carys and Rohail who had enjoyed themselves so much last week tjat they decided to return. There were a fair few tired legs tonight after some fantastic running at the Brass Monkey half, so a lot of people were grateful for the steadier run out to the allotment task with Vicky, whilst Ed led the larger group to the community gardens with Pete and Lucy bringing up the rear.

Dan very quickly realised we would be working on the gardens at the end of his road and was almost tempted to get his "goodgym-curious" partner out to join us. Another night perhaps. At the task Laura had prepared a list of jobs that needed doing and the GG York crew got to work weeding, pruning, digging and sweeping. As we worked away we managed to spend a bit of time getting to know our newer members a bit better. Turns out Rohail is yet to try a jacket potato (cheese and beans seemed to be the best choice for an entry-level jacket) and Carys just casually dropped that she done some pretty epic running events in the past, including the Berlin Marathon!

Meanwhile, over with Vicky...

A splinter group of ladies headed to Holgate Allotments and were tasked with covering all the community allotment paths with woodchip. We quickly got stuck in and soon had a conveyor of wheelbarrows going back and forth. Alongside this was team weed, who cleared some of the paths before the bark arrived.

We had almost finished when the other group arrived, but being the perfectionists that we are, we had one final push to make sure we got the job done! We were very proud of our work and the paths look ace, if we do say so ourselves!

Once both tasks were completed we regrouped for an epic game of musical cones, with a little bit of cheating and some heated debate over the rules, before we headed back to the pub where some joined in with the cool down but most got themselves a reasonably well earned pint

Lovely stuff

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of York, there was an overgrown allotment. Following the death of the old allotment keeper, the brambles grew tall, with thick thorny stems curling around the fortifications (piles of wood) which protected the treble-locked castle (shed).

On the third day of January, ten red-coated Goodgym heroes traveled from quite nearby to tackle the chaos left behind by the old allotment keeper. Their mission was to release the shed from its thorny prison and reveal the magical contents within. Ultimately, the shed would be cleared and the allotment patch refreshed so that the council of allotment wizards could prevent the weeds taking over the whole kingdom, and the earth could once again bear fruit (and vegetables).

The red knights arrived armed with loppers, secateurs, rakes and saws. They quickly got to battle with the brambles. They joined the allotment keeper's son, who had already used his magical keys to unlock the shed. As they cleared the brambles, fair maiden Becca pushed the cuttings into a sack to be transported away. Once the brambles were cleared, Prince Paul Kelly set to work on dismantling the fortifications for Lady Lyndsey and Benevolent Ben to burn in a roaring fire.

Meanwhile, Lady Ellie and Magical Mitch couldn't resist the lure of the open shed door which contained hundreds of years of magical gardening implements (and more piles of wood). They dutifully removed the scrap wood from amongst the cobwebs to fuel the now furious fire. Lyndsey and Ben got busy casting spells over the flames to ensure they didn't burn down the beanstalk frames which they were dancing perilously close to.

To finish their misson, it was all hands on deck to lift a heavy metal fence from the soil and carry it to the allotment entrance for disappearance.

With their efforts the ten hardy GG Yorkies cleared the way for future Knights of the order of Yorkies to continue clearing the cluttered- cobwebbed shed on the morning of the 31st day of January.

Tonight we had another bumper turnout to help at Holgate Allotments.

We started by welcoming new comers Denis and Janeto their first group session. We then celebrated Debs 300th good deed by adorning her with the fabulous cape of good deeds. Great work Debs

Debs, Pete and Nikki then set off in a walking group whilst the rest of us warmed up. We then headed off with Ed at the front and Vicky back marking.

When we arrived we were faced with a huge pile of woodchip to be spread on the paths. Containers and wheelbarrows were scarce so a few folk went off to find other vessels, returning with buckets, crates, bags and even traffic cones! With enough to keep everyone busy and some very enthusiastic running we quickly reduced the pile, and Helen from the allotments was delighted!

We then ended with a fun game of grab the tea towel then a run home via some hill reps.

And thank you to Jenna and Nick for the delicious home make treats back at base!

Great buzz tonight! Well done everyone!

💨 Well, this evening started with various weather-related dramas and changes but all came together in the end, thanks to some tremendous teamwork of the 11 GoodGymmers who braved the stormy weather to attend anyway. (It also didn’t actually rain on us and wasn’t as windy as expected, which was a win!)

📖 One of our two tasks was cancelled due to high winds then my train was thoroughly messed up so Ed and Mitch took the reins for the intro and warm up, which seemed to involve some communal story-telling.

🍎 They then also led the run down to Holgate Orchard and got cracking with some digging. The aim was to dig and level off a patch of ground for a shed and some raised beds to be built once it’s ready. The team got to work, with some folk digging, some raking and others on barrowing and quality control, identifying areas that were not quite level and therefore needed filling. Leanne noticed a particularly large dip in the corner and set to work filling that. In what felt like no time, Helen was happy that the job was done so the tools were taken back to the shed (including the rake, which wasn’t actually meant to go back, whoops!)

🗻 Mitch then led some hill reps on Windmill Rise while some of us walked back to base. We regrouped at CVS and headed to the pub for some good chats (and an exclusive peek at the 2024 pub dog calendar!)

👏 Thank you everyone, we’ve had a few additional tasks added this week (Thursday evening and Sunday morning) so do join if you can.

🎬 *Pun is related to a certain “classic” 90’s film, rather than anything else…