Many will know that it's become tradtion

To write a fairytale about this mission

Where an old allotment keeper's plot is cleared

Of treasures collected over a hundred years.

But Legendary Leanne gets easily bored

Of doing the same things for the same applause,

So she thought that this might be a good time

To weave a tale, inspired by Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes.

--

In previous weeks the GG Yorkies had been

To give an allotment in Holgate a big spring clean,

They'd chopped back brambles and dug out roots,

Then emptied the shed of all its loot.

They carried old tools, treasures and knick knacks

And piled them up at the end of the track.

Then, they burned all the wood they found

In a blazing fire that lit up (a bit too much) ground.

--

Now, those in the know can tell you straight

That the heart of a goodgymer isn't really that great -

You see, the thing that they crave isn't growth and construction,

What they really want is chaos and destruction.

This is why a task to demolish a shed

Got eight red clad knights out of their beds.

I know this is true because you could easily spy

A dangerous destructive glint in their eyes.

--

They started by talking about health and safety

(Which is something you always have to do lately).

Some sensible knights topped their armour with masks

Because it was sure to be a dusty task.

They ventured inside to tear out cupboards and shelves

And remove some glass, to protect themselves

From the carnage that was soon to be created

When the shed was recklessly decimated.

--

James and Ben tore off the door

Becca and Jane rolled up carpet from the floor

Vicky separated the metal, plastic and wood,

Jen carried them away from where the shed stood

Then James stepped in a pane of glass,

So Ellie swooped in to save his ass,

And in a calm and efficient manner

She broke all the windows with a sledge hammer.

Some joined in to pick up the shards

While others were still working hard

to bring that shed down to the ground

(and rehome all the spiders we found).

Helen emptied a butt of water -

Leanne wasn't impressed when the splashes caught her!

But at least it gave them a bit more room

To spread out the wreckage when the shed met its doom.

--

Soon only half of the shed remained,

It's solid foundations now barely sustained,

It was time to use some real brute force

To bring it crashing down - of course!

Ben stepped up and grabbed the hammer

In a confident, enthusiastic manner

It made the onlooking goodgymers drool

to see Ben wield such a manly tool

He took his aim and swung it back

He made contact with a mighty crack

At first it didn't make much of a difference

But each blow added more significance

Until the shed roof dramatically tumbled

And the rotten wood below finally crumbled.

--

When the hour was up, I must confess,

There was still an awful lot of mess,

So everyone, without grumbling

(even though their tummies were rumbling)

Stuck around to create some kind of order

Within that large allotment border.

We left a lot of wood behind

So check the GG website, and soon you'll find

Another task listed for next week

to tidy up (so to speak -

There will in fact be a blazing fire

For everybody to admire.)

And so with that, we can put to bed

The tale of the magical allotment shed.

January may be over but that doesn't stop goodgym York from coming out in force to keep doing good!

We started by celebrating the folk who ran Dewsbury 10k and especially Amy's sub 50min PB! We also adorned John with the cape of good deeds for reaching a phenomenal 600 tasks, and congratulated Becca for getting to 50.

We were then off to Holgate Allotments where Helen already had the bonfire going. Tasks included emptying the shed, cutting back brambles, digging over the soil and keeping the fire going. it was a chilly night and we were grateful for the warmth, even if a few people got a bit singed!

i didn't need my leg hair anyway - michael

We enjoyed the fire so much it was too difficult to tear people away for fitness so we did some exercises whilst enjoying the heat. There was a bit of a stand off between Ed and Alex on the arm circles, and despite Alex's pleading we had to call a draw!

We have been asked if we'd like yo return to take the shed down. Now that sounds like the perfect follow up and right up our street!

A Firey Tale of Olde Yorke - Chapter 2

On the last Saturday of the month of January, eight red-coated knights of the Order of Goodgym York descended on an old allotment patch to continue the good work of their predecessors. They had previously cut back a hundred years of brambles, revealed a creepy old shed, and burned piles of old wood in Chapter 1: A Firey Tale of Olde Yorke

On arrival, the council of allotment Wizards decreed:

“Leave only the timber… and let fire feast upon it later.”

And with that, they quickly embarked upon their task to sort the wood from the not‑wood and the burnable from the bewildering.

The scarlet heroes descended upon the patch and delved deeper into the far corners of the magical plot than any Yorkie had ever been. Each piece was lifted, shifted, dragged, or coaxed from the land with heroic effort — for no monster is more stubborn than abandoned gardening equipment.

Amongst the wood, which they sorted and stacked, they bravely uncovered a host of treasure to be banished from the allotment kingdom. Heavy items were hauled. Awkward items were wrestled. Confusing items were stared at for several long seconds while Egg the Enthusiastic took photos for posterity.

Their bounty included:

• Heavy metal rods (or perhaps a stash of giant's javelins) likely to have been forged in the underworld itself, and definitely weighing as much as a small dragon
• Broken windows (none showing a better view)
• A magic mirror (though nobody remembered to ask who was the fairest of them all)
• Hosepipes and fencing tangled like gossiping snakes
• A decorative shower screen, fully in tact as though placed there by goblins seeking cleanliness
• An ornate copper kettle, tarnished with years of grime.

An onlooker may have wondered why none of the red knights sought to polish the kettle until it gleamed, in the hope of revealing a genie from within to grant three wishes. Those who were wise to the January Quest of the order of Red Knights might assume it's because they had already smashed their January goals of achieving 600 good deeds and 10,500m of running walking and cycling, and so wanted for nothing more.

Each treasure was hauled away with great effort and mild confusion. Lady Ellie coveted an ancient sieve meant for fairy dust (or soil), and peasant's throne. She was granted permission to take them both home to give them new life.

Within an hour, a mighty stash of treasure was piled high at Allotment HQ, ready for it's ultimate banishment. The heroes wiped sweat from brows, mud from trainers, and made plans for lunch as they concluded their quest.

And so ends this chapter of the fairytale of Olde York— a tale of teamwork, treasure, and truly inexplicable finds.

Why not join us for the next instalment of this epic saga at Monday's group run, when once again our fearless band returns with reinforcements to the realm of determined brambles, forgotten junk, and community spirit.

Four of us braved the cold wind and rain to help Rachael from the City of York Council Environmental Team at West Bank Park. Our job was to neaten the edges of the rose garden and armed with half-moon spades we set to work, closely watched by Joey and Kali 🐶 who didn't seem to mind the rain at all. Jenna got started on a neighbouring section and flagstone path and the rest of us joined her to help finish off. We filled several very heavy bags of wet turf and mud and left these for later collection. After a good sweep, in the words of Norbert the garden robot, we left the whole area looking a lot more "neat and tidy" unlike ourselves who were muddy and soggy!